Clay Goes to School

Earlier this year, Clay started preschool! He goes to the same school Carter does and since it is  Montessori school, he is not in a separate class from his brother. They do different things in different parts of the teeny two roomed schoolhouse, but are never separated by big hallways and double doors.

We were very anxious and nervous for this development in Clay's little life. Most of you that know him personally know he has EXTREME SEPARATION ANXIETY. OH MY GOSH HE'S GOING TO LIVE HERE UNTIL HE'S 30! Sorry, just the voice imodulation syndrome kicking in.


We have never been able to drop him off in the nursery at church, the CDC at the 3 bases we've lived at or any other school/daycare type setting. He seemed to be fine going to friends' houses, or having our sweet Grandma Lady Babysitter, Heide come over. He was fine with Grandma, or Nana too. But try to drop him off was like trying to cut his arms off. Every time, the CDC or nursery would have to call/page us to come pick him up. This is the typical conversation that ensued:

"Hello Mrs. Naddy?"

"Yes?"

"I'm _____ from the ____. Clayton has been crying for 2 hours straight now, we cannot get him to calm down and think you might need to come get him."

"Okay, as soon as I get down from the stirrups from my OBGYN appointment/check out at the grocery store/get out of the shower/ run back there to the nursery, I will come get him. Thanks!"

Then, I would pick him up, he'd fall apart even more when he spotted me and continue to have anxiety for the next half hour. Eventually we just stopped trying.
He went to "Big Church" with us, He went on every errand I did and he sat on the bath rug outside the tub while I showered.

So, as you can imagine, we were not expecting preschool to go very well. But he has got to learn to make friends/ do things/ learn that the world is not trying to eat him alive/etc.

We talked it up for months. I realize this could have had the opposite effect. (Give him lots of time to be anxious about it) but we have tried both methods of not talking about things at all and talking about things in advance and it seems to go slightly not at all better when we give him a heads up. He was also able to attend two field trips with Carter's school when I chaperoned last year.

A word for the wise: Do not volunteer to chaperon a preschool field trip with your own three kids in tow. You'll just end up looking like an incompetent idiot. Not that I would know.

He even knew the teachers from drop off and pickup and had interacted with them a few times.
We had talked to the teachers about his anxiety and they were willing to help and understood the issue.

And then, when the new year started, I dropped him off for school and he gave me a kiss and walked away. Just like that.
I was shocked! The whole 3 hours I held my phone close, waiting for the phone call that would let me know they couldn't handle the disruption. That we would need to try again later. But it never came! I picked him up at noon and his face was clear, his eyes were dry and he wasn't done playing with the 'snow' they were taking turns playing with. I finally corralled him out of there (still in shock!) and he's been going ever since. Holy crap. Who'd have thought?

I'm sure that some of the circumstances we set up and him being familiar with the place helped ease him into the transition. But I just can't believe it was so easy! God answered a prayer we had been praying for awhile, to ease his anxiety about school.

After school, he started going to 'kids church' on Sundays and Thursday mornings (during my Bible Study). He finally realized that we WE'RE COMING BACK! And it is so much more fun to play with toys and make friends and have a snack than sit still in big church or stay at home while mom does more laundry and dishes.

Clay is in preschool, and he loves it. Unbelievable!