I have to remind myself constantly that Carter is only 22 months old. He's NOT EVEN TWO. But that doesn't mean that he can act like a maniac and get away with it! And when you live at a place like Osan, you're constantly surrounded by other children and thier parents. Everyone knows that 'so-and-so' has a time out and will actually sit there until done. Everyone knows that 'what's his face' won't ever stay in time out after he's put there. 'Who's it' gets a spanking, and my child gets away with murder. Or at least...that's how I feel.
Carter has had a really hard time with biting these last few months. It was really bad a few months ago and it seemed to have resloved after lots of discussion, timeouts, and appropriate positive feedback. However, Monday started a whole new string of biting and this time no one is spared: including babies.
And this kid doesn't just bite and then release, he chomps down and holds until you get to him to pry open his mouth. We've been doing the time outs again, but this time to no avail. Yesterday he bit 6 or 7 times in a two hour period. Each one had a timeout that followed with a "sorry" and a hug to the victim. But, it's just a routine to him now and it's not changing his behavior.
It's especially hard when we're out and about and he bites (or slaps me in the face) and I can't put him in time out. I can give him "the look" or tell him "We DO NOT ____" but it doesn't phase him. It's almost as if he's looking at me with, "What? what are you going to do to me here in public?"
And he's right! I don't know what to do with him in public! I've been reading a few books (and online articles) and asking friends for advice but nothing seems to be making much of a difference.
I just want to nip this in the bud and stop the bahvior. For goodness sake he's going to really hurt somebody, these bites look awful!
I know that at least when we're home, he realizes he's done something wrong (because I can remove him from whatever situation and it startles him if nothing else) but when we're grocery shopping and he slaps me in the face? What can I do? I'm at such a loss, feeling like a total failure and with this new baby coming I'm wondering how I'm going to do this.
When we come back to the states and New Baby only has 7 or 8 toes, you'll know who took them.
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3 comments:
Okay, nobody likes this idea anymore, but it works. Whenever he bites, bite him back. You won't have to leave marks. He will recognize what hurting someone feels like, and begin to see the disadvantage. Dr Phil and Oprah be damned. You won't have to do this much at all.
DO NOT SLAP HIM BACK. But sometimes a spanking is quite appropriate. Don't use a belt or a board and for God's sake do not hit anywhere other than his posterior. When people started thinking spankings were out of style, Ritalin sales skyrocketed and schools turned into zoos.
Whatever you do, I hope it works. Biting is by far one of the worst habits a child can develop. Nipitinthebud! By the way, you and Cory have got to agree before you start. Everybody must participate in the program and it will stop the biting in less than twenty four hours.
I think that maybe you just need to leave whatever you are doing in public and go home reprimanding him when you get there and putting him in time out then or doing whatever works in that case. It TOTALLY sucks for you to have to do that but he'll learn that he will never be able to leave the house if it continues. And if he bites when he's playing with kids then you leave. If you have kids over then they leave. He'll start to feel isolated and maybe it will work. Of course, no one has all the answers but maybe this is worth a try. I hope it gets better!
thanks for y'alls help!
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