Trick or Treating

Our Halloween started Friday night when we started carving the pumpkin. Everyone drew their version of a Jack-O-Lantern and then some kind of compromise was made and we ended up with a carved pumpkin an hour or so later.

Carter's Jack-O-Lantern

Cory's

Clay did more watching than drawing

This is what Bailey did during the 'draw your jack-o-lantern' time.

Viv tried to eat her baby pumpkin.

The planning committee

Our final result

Of course, tonight was the big night. I cooked fish, because I know the boys don't really like it, but that I'd be able to get them to eat it with bribes of Trick or Treating afterwards. I'm mean like that. It worked. Everyone made a happy Plate. Except for Vivi.

Cory took the boys trick or treating while Vivi and I sat on the porch and handed out candy. I'm pretty disappointed. I bought about 6 big bags of candy and only got through one. We didn't have many trick or treaters at all!  Nevertheless, Viv calmed down and enjoyed watching all the people in costume come up and get candy.

The two happy campers. Ready to Trick or Treat

Add in a sad baby giraffe

It's super awful

We are tooooorturing her!!

Halloween Party (Preschool style)

If you follow me on Facebook, you've been following the story of this crazily extravagant super fun, preschooler Halloween party. In their defense, the kids have a really fun time. And, everyone enjoys seeing the 'houses' people come up with. It's just....a lot of work for a class of 4 yr olds. Not only did I have to call Lowe's about 100 times a day for a week to try and secure a refrigerator box, but then it wouldn't even fit in my van when I finally won the refrigerator box lottery got one. I had to wait for 10 hours for Cory to get off work and HOPE no one bribed the shipping guys enough money to swipe mine! The guy at Lowe's said they've been getting calls all month for big boxes and they've been a hot commodity. Apparently Carter's preschool wasn't the only class needing them. The Homecoming parade is today so people were using them to decorate floats. And, the Highschoolers have been using them for some project up at the school too. Today was the day. They take turns Trick-or-Treating at each others' houses and lots of chocolate was had by all!

Standard Clay

This was Mario's House, of course.

Tinkerbell

Bat Girl

um..I don't remember. This may have been at the point where Vivi discovered there was CHOCOLATE in the wrappers.

Superman

I think a witch lived here

Snow White

Our masterpiece!

Another Snow White

Louigi had Bowser's Castle!

Tink

Cinderella

Jesse the Cowgirl

Ohmygosh, see the little adorable Bumble bee to the left?! I just want to smoosh her. She's Vivi's age (but walks and talks, naturally) and her sister is an adorable little red head too. I'm hoping an arranged marraige is in the works.

Smurfette lives here.

A pirate

A princess

A Unicorn

Clay is DYING to get into the candy.

I just realized I didn't have a picture of the Toy Story Aliens' House. They built "The Claw" and it was REALLY COOL!

They sang a little song

Trick or Treat!

Don't look if feet gross you out

That was the best way I could think of to warn people.

On Friday, I finally got tired of messing with this thing on my ankle. I am a picker, It is in my genes. My dad is the expert, he taught me everything I know. I would make a great esthetician, or dermatologist, or nurse in a burn unit. I just...can't leave things alone. 

I know, this post is getting a lot grosser than I had planned.
It's okay if you need to hit the 'back' button now.

But, I am the master of splinter removal! I wield tweezers like Bobby Flay wields a knife! Anyway, I got this nice little sucker removed on Friday. In my defense, I hadn't messed with it in almost a month and it kept growing and getting weirder....

Now it looks like this:

I get my stitches removed and my pathology report by Monday. Oh, and you know I was watching front and center while they sliced that thing off. It was the highlight of my day.

Clay Explains Basketball

Don't know how to play basketball? NO worries! Clay's got 'ya covered!

p.s Never mind the dragon that enters the frame at around the 45 second mark.

Homicidal Massage

The first day of our cruise, we opted for the "Traveler's Special". Sounds good right? What better way to start our relaxing trip than a scalp, back and foot massage!?
We had some time to wander around the boat as we were leaving Port Canaveral before our massages started. We visited the art gallery, well, we walked by it actually. (Who the heck goes to an art gallery on a cruise ship?) Got a raffle ticket for an WAAAAY overpriced piece of art, and went on our merry way. We made it up  to the spa to begin our 'treatment'.
Treatment, I hate that term. It sounds...just...dumb. Just something to make it sound professional, or legitimate I guess. Next time I put Vivi's lotion on after her bath I can yell at her, "Quit squirming so I can administer your TREATMENT!" I'm sure she'll suddenly understand and be still. A massage is not a treatment. Brushing my teeth is not a treatment. Painting my nails is not a treatment. I am not in a hospital, I don't want a treatment. I want a freakin' massage.
The massage starts benign enough. She focuses a lot of attention on my back and shoulders. It feels pretty good. The room is dark and playing that hippie music I like to listen to when I get a massage. I tell her to skip my scalp because we're going to dinner right after. I don't want to meet all our dinner friends for the first time with greasy hair. So she asks if it's okay to spend that time on my feet.
Awesome! Of course! Yay!
She keeps telling me throughout the massage that my shoulders and back are so tight, I should try and get a massage once a week, use some aromatic crap in my bathtub, yada, yada, yada. Meanwhile, I'm partially listening. Mostly just drooling on my towel though.
She then starts on this little part of the outside of my foot. You know, that little part. The outside bone where your pinky toe meets your foot. The outside of the ball of your foot. Right, there. She asks me if I know about reflexology. I mumble something to the effect of yes, and then...It starts.
She is gently rubbing the skin on the outside of my foot between her fingers. Right on that little bone. It feels like she's got two nerves pinched in that skin and they are rubbing together like they'll chirp like a cricket if she does it well enough. Gentle, rub, rub, rub. I don't feel relief or relaxation in my back (or my foot). I feel extreme anger....like, immediately. Flashes of red, and mean thoughts bombard my brain. But, I couldn't say anything.
It was like she was somehow tapping into the impulsive, angry part of my brain, all the while paralyzing my mouth. I know this sounds crazy. but I swear. It was one the most horrific, awful 8 minutes of my life.  All I could think was, "Oh my God, this is so painful, why won't she stop? Just say something! Maybe I'll just turn around and hit her! No, I can't do that! Oh my gosh, this is TERRIBLE. MAKE IT STOP! You think I could knock her out with one swipe? Why is she doing this to me!? What country was she from? India, I think. Is this torture? Do they want something? What does India want with me? Just SAY SOMETHING and she'll stop. Why won't my mouth work? What is wrong with me!?"
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she stopped and the massage was over. She tried to sell me some crap and I just wanted the hell out of there. I couldn't look her in the eye. I was all a mess and I just needed to eat something.
It was weird, and anytime I saw her on the boat the rest of the week, I tried to avoid her like the plague.

TRUE STORY.

Cruise

Cory and I traveled the Eastern Caribbean last week while the in laws stayed with the kiddos. It was WONDERFUL. I can't even begin to tell you what a difference a week makes when you're caught on the stay-at-home mom cycle. Ahhhh, I'm a renewed woman.
We spent quite a lot of time laying on the deck reading (I finished 3 books) but did two excursions off the boat. It was so nice to sleep in and have my food prepared and cleaned up by other people. Other than our Dolphin encounter in the Bahamas, my favorite day on the boat was the day I got up twice from my lounge chair. Once to eat a burrito and once to pee. It was magnificent.

Our first day was spent at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas. We were able to swim with dolphins at the Dolphin Cay. They have 30 some odd dolphins there and we swam with approximately 4 of them. We weren't allowed to use our own cameras during the 'experience', but were able to purchase some. I'll post those on a later blog. It was a very cool experience to hug, dance, kiss and be pushed across the water by the dolphins.

Part of Dolphin Cay at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas

Atlantis

The Carnival Dream

View from the top of the ship as we're leaving the Bahamas

A giraffe? Maybe a Llama...

Our second stop was St. Thomas. We took a cab to the famous Meagan's Bay. It was pretty cloudy and a thunderstorm took over a few hours after we were there but, a good day nonetheless.

No problem, y'all were creeping me out anyway.

Meagan's Bay, St. Thomas

St. Thomas

These boats are ginormous, y'all.

My guess was an elephant, until Cory reminded me it didn't have a trunk.

Our only other excursion was on a 'booze cruise' in St. Maarten. We snorkeled, watched as the young 20 somethings did flips off the bow of the boat, and most importantly, floated in the water with a life preserver full of rum punch.

Our booze cruise on the catamaran. St. Maarten

Needless to say, our photography skills are lacking after free rum and punch.

St. Maarten

Our friend on the booze cruise. Trust me, easiest way to make friends.ever.

This one kind of disturbs me.

Lido deck

Water Slide!

Aft


During the cruise, I kept thinking, oh my gosh, I have got to write this down so I can write a blog about it...but alas, that never happened. Most of it was snippets of crazy conversations we heard, drunk people in the casino and all the old ladies who got their [short permed] hair braided in St. Thomas.



My 'Thing'

It seems, in this vast military lifestyle, that there are wives who come from every corner and lifestyle of the world. Some guys marry women they meet overseas in Korea or Japan or Great Britain. There's yanks and southern belles, and cowgirls, ski bunnies, Mormons, Catholics, and Wiccans.
 Some are stay at home moms who are as granola as a Kashi bar while others can't part from their iPhone or careers for 10 seconds.
Some watch FOX News, others MSNBC.
But everyone seems to have a...thing. Some of my friends are fantastic cooks. They can whip up meal plans, and serve what amount to gourmet meals every night. A few are exceptional gardeners, or crafters, or homeschoolers, or career women. Most had a career they enjoyed (at least most of the time) until they started having babies. Or, in the case of a few wife lawyers, teachers or nurses, they've moved around so much they're still trying to receive their license or certification from two states ago.
And this...this is what I'm lacking.

I don't have a 'thing'.

I'm a mediocre cook, at best. I have a black thumb. I don't chair a committee or a club. I can't sew a hem on a pair of pants (even though I own a sewing machine). I am extremely uncreative when it comes to home decor or organization. I have a really nice camera but lack any ounce of talent in using it.

I never had a career or even more than a part time job. I don't have any kind of college degree or certification or license.

And yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone can say, "But you have the most important job on the planet! You're raising 3 children!" yada, yada, yada. But you know darn well that every mom wants to at least be credited with the fact that she holds some sort of credential or skill other than wiping behinds and kissing scraped knees.

In the military, we make new friends constantly and when meeting new people, I have to dodge the question over and over of "What did you do before you had kids?" or "What did you go to school for?"
Ug.  So, over and over again I explain that..well, I didn't.
It's not just the lack of career or degree or just the lack of a hobby or talent, it's...kind of all four combined.

Add that to a husband who has 3 degrees and it leaves you feeling a bit... unfulfilled, or inadequate to say the least.

The thing is, most women developed these things before they had kids. Or even before they were married. Most wives were finished or almost finished with college before they married. Most cultivated their 'thing' while they had time, or over a long period of time as they were younger.
Nevermind the fact that I can't finish school because my credits are outdated and have to be within 5 years of entering a program (who and where that will be is anyone's guess). There are wait lists and we're never in one place long enough for me to enter and graduate from the program...but I don't feel like I have time to cultivate a 'skill' or hobby.

I want a thing, I want to be good at something and show others how to do it. I want to have a hobby I look forward to doing in my free time.

Maybe if I was already inclined to something in particular. But how do you start from scratch? How do you know if you'll be any good at it? And realistically, it's hard to motivate myself to try something completely new and unknown at 8pm after I'm so wiped out by the day's events.

So until I can actually hang this in a frame in the office:

You can find me surfing the "...For Dummies" section on Amazon.com