Red Rock Canyon

We went on a little hike yesterday after lunch. Cory took some time off and we drove to Red Rock. It's about 30 minutes away and the rocks are so neat! You've got to go when it's cooler though since there is no shade and the heat is killer in the summer. Cory brought Carter out here when we lived here last time, but I had never been. The boys had a great time playing Star Wars and pretending to spot Jawas the whole time. Apparently that part of the movie was filmed here. Vivi did pretty well until the last quarter of the hike. Then she wanted to be carried. We even took Bailey and she was happy to be included. Carter really wanted to do more climbing and exploring than we were able to do. We tried to explain that Vivi and Bailey were getting tired and it was pretty chilly out. So, him and Cory would have to come back out without little ones and old dogs for some better exploring.

Start of the trail.

Obligatory picture

Viv is pondering the meaning of life

Pretty view

About a quarter of the way, we had to stop for a 30 second rest

the 'camel rock'

Jawa caves

Potty Time

We are creeping up on potty training time for Vivian.
Sheesh, that seems impossible. How can it be that time already? It seemed like the boys were so much older when we hit this point. Like, they were kids and it was time and we should do this.
But, I don't feel that way with Vivi. In fact, to me, she's still a baby. A baby that talks, but a bald headed, happy baby. We were dealing with tantrums and timeouts and discipline when the boys were 2 1/2. Vivi has had to go to timeout TWICE IN HER WHOLE LIFE.
Trust me, I am not trying to rub it in. I have paid my fair share of dues. Viv is just such an easy baby. She's just SO EASY.

What am I thinking messing this up with potty training?

I trained both the boys at 2 1/2. Carter took about 4 days until he was day potty trained. We didn't even attempt night time at the same time. We tackled it about 6 months later and it took him about 2 weeks of wetting the bed several times a night until he caught on.

With Clay, he took longer for daytime potty training. But, only about a month until he really had it down pat. However, he did night time training at the same time and only wet the bed for a few days and was then fine.

For both boys, I had the same strategy: Naked from the waist down for several days (or until they really seemed to grasp the pee/poop on the potty thing.) Then underwear. If underwear didn't go well by day two, we go back to naked. We progress step by step. But there's no turning back. No diapers, no pull ups. It's either naked or underwear. With Carter - this part was easy. With Clay - it was kind of excruciating. Since it took him awhile to catch on (especially with #2) I REALLY wanted to put pull ups on him or diapers just sometimes, etc. But, I stuck it out and prevailed. I knew that if I kept going forward  - never back - he would do it.

It's kind of like ripping off a band-aid. You think that pulling it off slowly - maybe stopping to blow on it for a minute or two, maybe getting some adhesive remover - will be better. But it just DRAGS it out longer. And who wants to be doing something painful for 3-6 months? NOT ME. I want to RIP THAT DADGUM BANDAID OFF HARD AND FAST. And I will muddle through it and will have 1 month of torture vs. 3-6 months of 'not quite as bad' torture.
Because when month 3 comes along - I'll be done. And those other people will still be babying their band aid, still trying to get through it. And I will sigh relief, because my time has been served and we were done with it 2 months ago.

Now, I totally know that Vivi could throw me for a total loop. She could be COMPLETELY different. And I'm prepared for that. Clay wasn't the same as Carter. He refused to use a regular toilet for about 2-3 weeks. He took longer. I thought he would never poop on a toilet in his lifetime. But guess what. I stood my ground and changed a ton of underwear and did a ton of laundry, and he did it.
Cory even took him to a shuttle launch 6 hours away and over night and didn't give in. I really have to give Cory props for that. I know it must've been torture.

So here's the plan. Normally the kids turn 2.5 during the summer. So, I have the leisure to stock up on groceries and wine and stay home for a solid 5-7 days. Well, Vivi turns 2.5 in February. So, Cory is taking 5 days off of work so that I can devote my full attention to Vivi and not have to drive anyone to school or activities. This, my friends, is key. You've got to devote 5-7 days of TOTAL POTTY TRAINING BOOT CAMP. Groceries, or book club, or carpool or vacation cannot take precedence. This would put you in a compromising situation and you'll be tempted to cheat by using a diaper 'just this once' or a pull-up, and once they know they can pee in that thing without it running down their leg, the game is OVER. They will then forever be 'testing' to see if they can get away with it again (peeing or pooping without it making a mess).

So, instead of a romantic dinner for Valentine's Day, we'll be in the throws of potty training.
It's kind of like Valentine's Day except less steak and lobster but more wine.

Custody

We're having a situation at our house, and both Cory and I are at a loss on how to settle this. Neither of us know the 'right' answer. So maybe you, my fellow bloggers, can help me solve this problem.

Clay has had a buddy he sleeps with (Becky) for a year or two now. It's one of his favorites, and one he asks for or plays with often. Every now and then, Carter would say, "Clay, that Becky is really mine."

Clay would argue with him and come to me, where I would say, "Carter, that's Clay's buddy. Why are you trying to take it?"

"But Mom, Nana and Pop gave that to me. I know it." But it never really escalated past that. Carter was never visibly distressed about it, but would more just remind Clay that it was his.

I should have paid more attention to what Carter was saying. I should know by now that Carter's memory is infallible. If he says it happened. There's 110% chance it happened.

Two nights ago, Carter found his Oh the Thinks You Can Think book. And he came over to me and said, "LOOK mom! I told you Becky was mine!"

Inside the cover of the book, was written "To: Carter [insert loving message] Love, Nana and Pop."

Well, the character on Oh the Thinks you Can Think is, in fact, 'Becky'.

This may not make sense. So let me back up a bit.

My in laws regularly send the kids the 'Kohl's Cares' kids books with a matching stuffed animal (or buddy in our case) So, we have several pairs of books/buddies. For example: Vivi has a rabbit to go with The Velveteen Rabbit book.  Each kiddo probably has about 3 or 4 buddy/book pairs.

So it turns out 'Becky' was originally Carter's.

But here's the thing. Obviously, he wasn't so attached to it back then because otherwise the ownership would never have been allowed to be transferred to Clay (in reality or in Clay's mind.) Carter has buddies that are his, and we know it....everyone knows it. Clay wouldn't ever take one  - out of fear of retribution.

But now, Carter is obsessed with Becky. He wants custody and wants Clay to relinquish all parental rights.
But Clay is really distressed about this. He doesn't want to give Becky up to Carter. He loves Becky and really believes he is his.

What's the right answer? Who owns Becky?
I think Carter only wants him for the pure fact that he knows Becky is technically his.  But Clay wants Becky because because he loves him and has thought he was always his.

I feel like there's a lesson in here somewhere, and I don't want to teach the wrong one.

Sledding

Cory only has a few more days of leave and the kids have been dying to go play in the snow that we can all see in the mountains. So yesterday we ventured up by the local ski resort, Mountain High.
We laid out all of our gear the night before to take stock of what we had and realized we were a few items short of what we needed. Clay still needed snow boots, I needed sunglasses and some kind of waterproof pants.

We headed into town to pick up our items and then headed into the mountains. I had packed lunch for us, so we ate on the way up there (which was about the only thing we planned that went as scheduled).

We had never been up to Mountain High before, so we needed to scout out the joint. We didn't really want to pay $30 per person to go tubing at the resort. We wanted to find some snow and a hill that we could just play on.

We finally found a little pullout that wasn't too crowded and decided to start suiting up. I was so excited to take a picture of Vivi all suited up in her snow gear, I got her all fixed up and I set her to the side to help Carter zip up his suit. But before I could do anything else, Vivi fell face first into a mud puddle...which was the start of her bad mood.

We got to the hill and Carter immediately went down. I was really impressed. He's never been sledding before and in fact other people were standing around deciding how best to go. But, he just..went!

We were able to get about 40ish minutes of sledding in, before Vivi decided she was DONE. We're still not totally certain what happened. She just started losing it. Arching her back, screaming, inconsolable. So....we packed up and went home. And of course Clay was angry and tired and refused to walk back up the hill (because we were at the bottom). Cory had already taken Vivi to the car and I was responsible for getting the boys, 3 sleds, the camera and everyone's gloves - that they had taken off - back to the car. Luckily, I found a nice person willing to watch all the stuff at the top of the hill while I went back down to get Clay.
I have to say Carter did really well, and while he was upset about having to go home so quickly, he didn't throw a tantrum and took it all in stride.
Here's a few pictures of what we were able to do in our short time:

Trying to recover from the mud puddle

Carter with his ice ball.

Cory coming down the big hill with Vivi

snow angels!

Carter dutifully carrying his sled back up

Me and Vivi

Here's Carter coming down the little hill

Cory and Clay going down the little hill

The Problem with Hair

Most of you know that Vivian, my ONLY daughter, is bald. Ugh. She's been bald since the day she was born. Did you know that some babies are born with hair? Did you know that some can sport pony tails or pig tails before they are even a year old? We still aren't even close. We're creeping up on 2 1/2. 

To be fair, she's starting to get some hair, but only in the back really. And, it's CURLY! I don't know what to do with curly hair! It's beautiful, but curly hair is an art...one I am not familiar with. And also, it would help if the FRONT of her head had curly hair. But no, it's perfectly straight....

This is after having completely wet hair, putting mousse in it and having it air dry. If I don't fix her hair, she doesn't have curls, she just has a rat's nest.

This is the front view, with totally straight locks. Everything from her crown forward is straight.  Everything from the crown back, is curly.

Carter Turns 6!

Dear Carter,

It is so strange to me that these last years have gone by so fast, yet a the same time, so slow.

Yesterday we went out to eat in Tehachapi at Domingo's (a favorite local Mexican place) and Daddy was telling you about the day you were born. I could almost barely remember that day. Maybe it was the insane amount of drugs I was on or the pure adrenaline that fogged my memory of the day you were born. But it seemed like so long ago. Like, a fuzzy memory already. Is this normal? Is this how the rest of my adult life will be? Will I only have memory in 5-6 year spurts? Maybe I should be taking more pictures...or see a doctor.

Other times, like our time in Korea, seem like just yesterday. We had such a good time there. You had so many friends and we played on the playground everyday. I didn't know how good we had it there. Like most things, you never know what you have until it's gone. We had a cleaning lady...who did our laundry! What in the heck did I do with all my free time? I don't remember that either. I suppose we played at the playground and browsed the Bx everyday.

But since all that, you've grown into such a great young boy. If someone were to have asked me 5 years ago if I thought you'd ever be able to sit still for any length of time, I would have laughed in their face. You are quite the trailblazer (at least in our lives) and have burned a deep trail of trial, tears, joy, frustration and excitement. I often use you as an example to other moms who exclaim how tired and exhausted their 'full throttle' boys make them. I tell them, "It's okay, it gets better! Just wait a few more years!"

It's not to say that some days are not without difficulty, but these days you have been so delightful. You are a great helper. You constantly help me by bringing me things, letting the dog out, YOU MAKE YOUR OWN BREAKFAST AND/OR LUNCH! You sacrifice things like your pick of movies, reading time, what seat you sit in, plates you eat off of to help satisfy your siblings or rectify a desperate situation. You have empathy and courage. You're brave and FUN  and honest and funny. You love to tell jokes, mostly of the butt/poop variety. Jeez.

You are doing wonderfully at school. You have almost perfect behavior (you did get a yellow card last week for talking during class). But I am still so proud of you. You are so smart, so loving, so...emotionally present. I know, that sounds weird. But whether your angry, or sad, or excited or happy or confused it shows. It's so clear and you're not afraid to show it. And although sometimes me and your dad get frustrated when you're in a bad mood, we at least know what you're feeling and why. I hope you are always like this. I am so afraid that in 10 years when you're a sullen teenager I won't know what you're thinking or feeling . I am really trying to soak up the time of you needing me. I try to remind myself that it won't be much longer that you will want to spend time with me. It won't be much longer that you will seek my advice, or need my help. You won't want me to walk you into school and kiss you goodbye. I am trying really hard to enjoy these times. Even when the days are crazy and the hours are long. Even when you scream at your brother or argue with me, even when you complain about homework or brushing your teeth. I know you're only (already) six, and this time is going to fly by quickly. 

I love you big boy.

Love,

Mama

ps. If you'd like to reminisce, here is Carter's 2nd Birthday, 3rd Birthday, 4th Birthday and 5th Birthday.

I'm No Meteorologist

But I'm pretty sure this is the forecast for Edwards everyday...

*those brown pointy things are mountains. And the blue wavy lines are wind. And that's us, blowing around in it.