I'm on to you

So I decided I was going to start trying to drink Ensure a few times a week to meet my calorie needs. A few crackers or cookies here and one maybe two meals a day there isn't cutting it. I remember Grandma drinking it a lot. So this morning I drank the chocolate variety and am pretty sure I've figured out a secret I wasn't supposed to know.
I'm pretty sure this is how 'they' subdue the old folkies. With all the calories (even from fat) and vitamins in this horribly-chalky-disgusting drink I figured I'd at least have a pep in my step this afternoon. However, I feel like I didn't even sleep last night. I haven't been this tired in weeks!
I'm on to you, who ever you are...this is why you're passing out Ensure at nursing homes like it's going out of style! Those poor, poor old folkies. I'm calling for a national boycott! Let's see what kind of fight these people really have left in them.