Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas! We were so fortunate to be able to spend our "little" Christmas with my parents earlier in the month and then Christmas day with just the 4 of us. We opened presents and stayed in our pajamas all day. Cory made breakfast and I made our Christmas dinner. Santa was good to Carter and he loved all of his presents! Santa received Carter's binkys in exchange for presents and so far everything has gone smoother than expected. We've had a few instances of crying, but not the screaming fits we thought we'd have. Carter has continued to sleep through the night and take his naps. I was also able to talk to my dad's side of the family on the web cam yesterday and see them all. I can't wait to see them all in person again. Here are some pictures of our big day:

Merry Christmas Eve!

Thanks to everyone who's been offering wonderful support during all of my pity parties lately. I have a lot to be thankful for during the holidays including great friends!
We're excited that it's Christmas eve here, and Carter must understand that Christmas is coming soon because he can't seem to leave the presents alone today.
It could also be the fact that I've been using "If you____ Santa will bring you more presents!" Hmm, parenting at it's finest?
Speaking of fine parenting, our assessment of Carter was yesterday and I was very pleased. Carter wowed her with his brilliance but also showed his temper. She gave us some strategies (including getting rid of the binky all together.... Oh God!) and I'm eager and terrified to get going with all of it.
We have a more in depth survey to fill out about Carter and we're meeting again in January.
If you don't hear from me for awhile you'll know that getting rid of the binky has literally killed me and you may want to contact Security Forces.

I hope everyone has a great X-mas Eve and a wonderful Christmas morning!

Not enough

Clay is losing weight again...I'm so frustrated I could scream. I know all mothers deal with feelings of inadequacy but him losing weight everytime we rely on "me" to feed him, isn't boosting my confidence.

At a loss

This was my first week without all of my 'help'. My parents left on Monday evening and Cory had already been back to work for several days. The actual getting through the day was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I was able to get everyone up and dressed and go to several play groups and meetings througout the week.
We did encounter a different, more serious problem though.
Carter vamped up his biting and hitting efforts, added hair pulling and pinching and lots of people fell victim to it this week. He bit or hit at LEAST one other child at every playgroup we went to andd at my breast feeding support meeting I think he bit three different people. None of this includes the tens of times he hits me or pulls my hair during the day. I don't say this lightly about my child, but he's a bully. He's a small, mean bully.
It'd be one thing If I could just wait for this stage to pass (hopefully it's a stage?) and hole up here in the house, but here in Osan my only escape and my only friends are at playgroup and BFSG. I don't have any other outlets so it's pertinent that we stop the behavior for everyone's sake!
We actuallly have a lady with a PhD in Early Childhood Development who can come and assess the problem, offer strategies and if need be, refer you to a specialist (In cases of developmental problems). She's coming on Tuesday and I can't wait for her to get here.
Like I told Cory, I don't care if I have to do the hokey pokey 4 times every morning before we leave the house if that's what stops this crazy stuff. Whatever works....

On a happier note, after weeks of supplementing and pumping, Clayton stated gaining weight and the last 3 days we've been weaning him off of the supplements (per Dr. orders of course) If his weight check is good on Monday we'll be completely done with supplements and he'll be just on the breast. Woohoo!

Happy Birthday Carter

Dear Carter,

These last few weeks of your 1st year have been really hard on everyone (including you.) You are so smart and curious and you let your emotions lead you. You care about everyone (especially the dog - we can't even punish her without you being upset) and I love that about you.

Your daddy and I are astonished at what you are learning every day. You're saying up to 10 new words a day and drinking from a big boy cup at meals.

You're very good at following directions (when you feel like it) and you kiss everything with a face on it goodnight before bedtime. I love that this year you learned to say 'I love you'.

You're very thrilled that we've been opening presents a lot lately and it's hard to explain to you that we can't open anymore until Christmas.

We moved across the world this year and the transition was tough for you. You went from being the oldest kid in the group to the youngest.
You tried establishing your dominance by biting, but we've mostly nipped that in the bud.

You love to color and can draw almost perfect circles. You know all of your shapes and primary colors and can count to three.

You can build towers with blocks or groceries taller than yourself and love to help cook and "fix" things with your tools. You can do all the dances to the "Wiggles" and motions to "If You're Happy and You Know It".

Even though we've added a new member to our family this year, you will always be my first born, my baby, and have a very very special place in mine and your daddy's hearts. I love you more than the world.
Love,
Mama

Not enough brain cells for a witty title

Things have been going better, and I'm hoping as I get used to this two children thing my blogging will start going better as well.
My parents and Cory have been a huge help and between pumping, nursing and supplementing, I've been able to enjoy a little of all of their company.
Cory went back to work on Wednesday and I've had several instances of being alone with the two. Carter's doing better most of the time but has starting hitting me in the face and pulling my hair. He almost took a toe off of Clayton today as well. He was biting and pulling at the same time. I was shocked that sucker was still intact.
I've talked to several of my friends and the consensus seems to be that sisters are much better big siblings than brothers....no kidding.
Clay gained weight and has another appt. on Tuesday. He'll have weight checks once a week and as long as he's gaining, we won't check his bilirubin anymore (since it was down as well).
One of these days I'll be a functioning member of society again.
But until then, everyone will have to fawn over my children from pictures since I don't think I'll be leaving the house anytime soon....

I spoke too soon

Turns out my 'champion nurser' isn't the champ we thought he was. After our appointment yesterday we discovered Clay has been losing weight and his bilirubin is back on the rise. I saw our OB nurse practitioner and certified lactation consultant and came up with at least a temporary plan of action. Clay has been latching on well, but tires easily (because he's early) and starts to slide off, so he's not efficient at getting enough but is 'satisfied' because he's wearing himself out.
Our dreams of sailing smoothly through breastfeeding have been stomped on as I glance around our bedroom and kitchen at two different breast pumps, shields, herbs for increased production, bottles, valves, formula, breast milk bags, supplementers and syringes.....
Our doctor appointment tomorrow will let us know if he's started gaining weight and please keep your fingers crossed that his jaundice is down, it may sound so selfish...but I don't know if I have it in me to be admitted again.